Just a lazy kind of update :)

Lucy and I! (The neighbor's kitten <3)

I've been busting booty lately, but I've also been finding that for as many days as I work out I need to have a rest day(s) depending on how hard I push it. I really would love to see the 100's by the time I leave for Canada but the more I think about it I'm not sure that it's possible for me. The more weight I lose the harder it is to keep pulling the big numbers. I'm not getting discouraged or upset however, I'm just going to keep doing the best I can do! This morning on the scale I was 226.5 which means I'm down 5.3 pounds in 18 days which is just a little more than half of what I need to be losing to hit my goal weight.

I think I've accepted that it isn't going to happen - but I'm surprisingly okay with that! A few other positive things I've been noticing are that my pearl necklace (pictured in the kitten photo) is sitting lower than when it was first bought for me by my amazing husband. I'm getting an actual collarbone (whoa :-o), and my legs are getting really good definition. Some of the negative (which is really a positive in disguise) is that my waist is starting to fall into line with my bust and hips which makes me feel as though I'm losing my curves. I'm not sure if it's all the elliptical training I'm doing, or if it's something else, but this really makes me want to go ahead and order a corset so I can feel a bit more like normal.

Homemade cupcake skirt

Another big thing? I did a very empowering, very tasteful nude shot with a photographer recently. It documented my curves and where I'm at today. It was kind of nerve-wracking to have everything all 'out there' in front of someone else, but in the end it worked out really great. I enjoyed the experience and can't wait to do it again in a few month's when I'm even closer to my goal weight! Last note of the evening: On April 10 I started recording my elliptical usage. The following entries amused me: Apr 10 - Elliptical 44 min/600cal/1.42M diff 3 (13.6cal/min) and Apr 26 - 26min elliptical/501 cal/diff 6.7/.90 distance (19.3cal/min) which is about a 50% approx increase in calories burned per minute in only two weeks of training! Exciting stuff.

Putting Your Weight on Project Status

Exactly 40lbs & 5 months - What a difference!

 I was skimming a book today called "Dr. Phil McGraw - The ultimate Weight Solution", and the title of chapter one was so absolutely poignant. So many people seem to want to lose weight, but just as many seem unwilling to put their weight loss on project status. What that means to me is putting weight loss at the forefront and going at it with the same determination, vigor and dedication that one would go after a project at work that had the promise of a promotion at project end. Only in this case instead of getting a promotion one gets a fitter, healthier body!

I'm not sure what I think of the book as a whole, there are some good ideas in it but for the most part I feel pretty happy and confident with what I'm doing now in my diet habits and exercise routines, and the proof really is in the pudding and as one can see below the scale continues to show my weight going the way I want it too! 

The Pudding of Proof! It tastes so sweet..nomnomnom!

A few other changes I've noticed are muscle definition building where muscles never were before. I'm going to do the Curves circuit once every day (except Sundays, due to them being closed) and that is really boosting my muscle building. I've also introduced a high protein bar that I eat once per day to help boost my protein levels and give me that extra boost I need to keep building the lean muscle I'm working so hard for. It seems to be working, and really...I'm not going to argue about a chocolate peanut butter flavor protein bar that seems so decadently sinful that I question whether or not I should really be eating it. ^^; All in all I'm down 3.3lbs in 5 days and I hope to keep up this level of success. It makes me feel really good to know I'm out achieving my dreams because I finally put my health, my weight loss, and my HAPPINESS on project status! Front and center, and never to be brushed aside or put under a stack of papers.

Let's make a goal.... I'd like to see 199lbs, at least, on the scale by June 8, 2011. That's 29.5 pounds I need to lose in the next 56 days, which means I need to bust booty to lose 3.68lbs per week. I wonder if I can do it? I'm sure as heck going to try, either way! This also reminds me that on or about December 5th, 2010 my calf width was 21.5". I remember going back and forth with my friend Bethan about these boots on Domino Dollhouse when her blog Pretty-in-Plus was doing it's first ever give away for a $25 gift certificate to Domino Dollhouse and I fell in love with those boots whilst checking out what DD had to offer. Today I measured my calves at 17.5", and since this isn't something that is regularly recorded at my weigh-in at Curves I thought it was worth noting here for the sake of future recollections :)

Hope you're all staying active and being healthy today!
Eggs out

The Big One-Oh-Oh and Life Happenings

Weight Chart Trends

This week spelled a huge achievement for me. I hit 231 pounds on my official weigh-in, and since I started at 331 pounds, that means I've lost a whopping 100 pounds! Here are a few things that weigh one hundred pounds, in case you were interested: A large male deer, 70" diameter pumpkin, a HAL-3 missile, a baby hippo...yeesh the list goes on, and on! I can't imagine carrying around a deer, so it astounds me that for so long I was essentially backpacking Bambi day in and day out and it makes me wonder how someone's joints and skeletal structure can stand up to that kind of a beating every day. I guess it isn't possible to do it for too long before something goes awry..I'm glad I decided to change my life while I'm still young enough to spring back with less damage than there was the potential for. To celebrate I got a new (to me) elliptical and am getting a bicycle and a new bathroom scale that measures in 0.2 increments. It's like CHRISTMAS! Hehe.

I count it as 100 since my start weight was not in decimal

Pictured: Me (L), Karen (R)

One thing that has helped me with the weight loss has been Curves. It's the woman only gym that I have discussed in previous entries and the women that go there are "Real Women" - not the kinds of women I've seen in a Gold's Gym or a Bally Total Fitness. Real women, real chubby bits, real endurance levels, real sweat, and real determination. One person that has made a huge difference in my life has been Karen, a trainer/manager at the Lake Ridge Curves location. All of the trainers have helped in their own ways, but Karen is the one that I signed up with, the one that remembers the progress I've made, and the one I like to have weigh and measure me because she's just so full of positivity and encouragement. She makes the location a much better place to frequent! I highly recommend Curves to all women just starting their weight loss journeys.

Another exciting thing I've done is sign up to run for the Curves team at this year's Relay For Life, supporting the American Cancer Society. I'm excited about the prospects of participating in such a good cause whilst also getting out there and burning some calories! I know many people, in my family and without, that have been affected by Cancer and I hope that in some small way my participation will help bring some kind of valid treatment options to the forefront. I understand that there will likely never be a cure...Cancer seems far too resilient for that, but better treatments options are something I hope to see within my lifetime. What a worthwhile cause it is! If anyone reading feels like making a donation to the Relay for Life just let me know. I've set a goal to raise $100 in 30 days and really hope to be able to make my goal with the help of all my family and friends.

I'll finish this check-in entry with a list of my week's exercising totals! It seems I've burned 3085.5 calories - wowza! I burn about 375 calories per curves work out, and then with the few miles I walked it really all added up this week. I hope I can keep this kind of activity level up because it makes me feel great, inspired and healthy!

A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

Old Size: 28WP - Current Size 18WP

Attitude is one hundred per cent. I noticed that when I was feeling down and depressed nothing was happening. It was almost as if my negativity was willing my body to do the opposite of what I actually wanted to do - and that was holding on to the weight that was the source of my unhappiness. Now, I know somepeople might argue that losing weight won't make you happy, but I think they're wrong. I think that once one has dealt with the underlying issues that caused the problem in the first place (emotional, mental, physical, financial?) one should be able to confidently say "I would be happier if I was skinnier". Healthier is the goal, but to actually be smaller and fit in just that little bit better with society feels good (at least to me.) I'm not saying our bodies must conform to the rail-thin waifish models we see walking the runways, but fat people do NOT have an easy go of things in this life.

Fat discrimination is real, and (speaking only from experience) I think that it hurts as much as other forms of discrimination. However, and this might be my extremist opinion here, in most cases people can control their weight more than another person could control their skin tone, gender, sexual preference, and the like. So, rather than continue to be a victim of the horrible discrimination that is still somehow considered acceptable, I'm going to change myself and motivate myself. And when I get where I want to be I want to work hard to help other people. I want to change the way people think about being fat, and I want to change the way people act when someone is fat.

Weighed in at 233.5 today!

Being fat is not a sin, and it isn't a crime. It is, barring distinct medical reasoning, the combination of looking at a few things in our lives with the wrong perspective. At least, that is my opinion, and I feel it's pretty well grounded. We eat because society makes all social hubs food-involved. We eat because someone has harmed us and we wish to cocoon ourselves in a security blanket of food that never lets us down. We eat because someone has left us and food is a comfort that never will. We eat for so many reasons...and then we do the work of perpetuating a negative society by condemning ourselves (which really only seems to make people more depressed) for not being "perfect". We are our own worst critics.

Well, one of my biggest hopes is that people will stop punishing themselves. I hope that people will stop using the word "Fat" like a disparaging remark - It's simply a way to physically describe something. I hope that mothers will stop punishing their daughters (whether knowingly, or not) for being fat, and I hope that fat people feel WORTHY enough to get out there and make a few changes to see them healthier. So many fat people don't feel worth it..and what a crime that is! We're all human beings and all inherently worthy of love, respect and happiness. We're all owed safety and security in our lives and in ourselves. I just wish more people could see that.

Smile and give love to the Fat Folk, because they are people too. Encouragement and happiness will help someone make more progress than horrible discrimination ever could.

Eggs out.

Coming Down the Mountain

It seems that I may have broken my plateau. I'm not sure how, I'm not sure the cause, but my weight range is now down to 235.5-238.0, whereas before it was 237-240.5. That's a few pounds, at least, and I hope to continue seeing progress as time goes on! This morning I weighed in at a respectable 236.0 pounds. Considering I was stuck in the -240+ area for almost 2 months, I'll take any sign of positive movement!

Silly photo of me from the cruise

I've been dealing with the emotional side of loosing weight. The helplessness of feeling you're doing whatever you can and nothing seems to be working. It is so easy for me to become defeatist when I feel that the efforts going in aren't giving me the results I want coming out. I've been sleeping a lot, not walking or exercising at all, feeling generally run down, completely fatigued all the time. I'm not sure if it's emotional (depression) or physical (illness going around) but whatever it is I'm fighting it. I'm positive I'll continue seeing great results as long as I manage to own my weightloss and stay hyped up and positive about where I see myself ending up! I worried with calorie counting for a few days before I realized how eating that much makes me sick. I figure I'll keep doing what I had always been doing. Keep eating when I was hungry, stopping when full, and eating again when I pleased within a vegan/gluten-free/low sodium way of eating.

I WILL own this, and the positivity is already giving me results. I'm not going to try over-feeding myself, or any of those crazy stupid "soup" diets, "apple" diets, or anything other than what feels right for me. I'm going to eat potatoes if I want potatoes, and I'm going to have an egg if I feel that is what I really want. Time to get everything back on track and listen to my body - No doctor, nurse, dietitian, friend or diet-book author  knows it better than me!

Adam shlepping out a 15M walk!

And a most special congratulations to Adam on nearing 30lbs lost! Keep being awesome Adam, and keep on inspiring others! He's recently been up to good works doing lots of long-distance walks, and I think I should set up a deadline to take a nice long walk, perhaps do a 15M round-trip walk for myself and see where it takes me, and how long it takes to do it. Need to start conditioning to make sure I don't pooper out.


P.S// Only 4.5 pounds to lose before I hit 100lbs lost!

Stay positive,
Eggs Out xx

Feeling defeated - I need to eat MORE?

I've been looking at everything wrong, lately. It's so hard sometimes to get the fact that scale results do NOT equal success. I've been feeling so run down and bad lately, topped with the fact my weight is wavering between 236.5 and 239.5 for the past 6 weeks I've been feeling so defeated.

http://www.bmrcalculator.org/

I learned that, according to a BMR calculating website, that I burn 1774 calories simply 'existing'. I gave my diet a relatively thorough once-over to figure out where I land with my calories and I normally hit what I thought was a rather sensible 1200(ish) calories per day. I often run a little bit low, but 1200 is normally the magic number when I eat whatever I want, however I want, as often as I want.

It seems the plateau might actually be caused by me not eating enough - what a fun adventure THIS will be. I can see I'm not eating enough fat, nor am I eating anywhere near enough protein. I take a multivitamin and have gotten slightly better in my hydration department, but It's so overwhelming figuring out what to eat to get my healthy fats and protein up. Nut butter is the obvious choice, but I'm honestly not all that keen on it...and the last thing I want to do is start measuring food, adding calories and keeping a food journal. That's just the kind of thing that puts me OFF wanting to lose weight and stick with it!

www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

So what is a girl to do? I'm not seeing any inches lost, I'm not seeing an pounds lost, so obviously something has to give. I need to figure out a change of pace and a different tactic to come at this issue with head on. There's only so long I can keep going like this before my body, which is apparently being starved, decides that enough is enough and puts me out of commission. I did a "how many calories should I be eating?" calculator online and have found that it suggests I zig-zag cycle around 1900 calories PER DAY. Oh my goodness. I'd need to eat ALL day long! Any suggestions on high calorie, healthy fat foods that pack a healthy punch? I have to try something before I give up.

Another thing I've noticed, which I wanted to blog a bit about, was the fact that whenever I am typing my weight out I always start in the 300's. 338 is something I typed several times just earlier. I have gotten so used to a certain way of looking at myself, so uncomfortably comfortable in a certain role that I automatically place myself there. I wonder how long until that changes...

All for today,

Eggs out.

Walking up a (small) storm!

Hubby&I in March '05. At approximately 265lbs.

I've been working as best as I can on increasing distance and endurance so that when the time is right I'll be able to get a really good jogging (and then running!) routine. I read somewhere online that the best way to train for running as a complete running n00b is to begin the process with walking, and aiming for distance rather than speed to help your muscles get all kinds of strong and long-lasting to help you power through the runs later on.
I've begun introducing a steady jog into my routine, where for no reason I'll break into a jog at least three times to help get my heart rate up and test out my running legs.
 

Elly&I in March '04. At approximately 245lbs.

My legs are getting stronger, I'm getting stronger and I can carry myself further. Walking is great fun! Below is my chart of record for the week, showing that I've walked 19.3M this week, versus having only walked 9.5M last week. Things are picking up...I really hope to bust out of this plateau, and soon! Got a 236.5 lbs on the scale this morning that means I'm down a little bit, even if it isn't as much as I'd usually like to see I guess I can accept it.

Week 2 M-F
Mar 14 - 3.7
Mar 15 - 2.5
Mar 16 - 4.5
Mar 17 - 2.4
Mar 18 - 2.4
Mar 19 - 3.8

Total Miles (Mon-Sat): 19.3
Approximate Calories Burned: 2509

Weight: 236.5lbs

Eggs out.