The Good; The Bad; The Ugly: September Weigh-in.

I've lost my motivation. I've lost my momentum. I've got a thousand and one excuses, but no idea how on earth to get myself into the military mindset of no excuse being good enough. There are a lot of things I can't do because of my neck right now, but I wonder how much I CAN do? I'm feeling overwhelmed and depressed, so much so that I'm just one big sighing heap of resigned acceptance right now. I've never resignedly accepted anything in my life before and I know the stress of this auto accident is getting to me. I've been talking for the past three or four entries on how necessary it is to get back on track, to get excited again - but the spark went out. I need to work on getting it back because I'm so unhappy. My unhappiness has proven itself in this month's weigh-in.

People have been all, "Well at least you lost and didn't gain!"...you know what that is? That's worse than a consolation prize. That's being happy with getting kicked in the face by my own foot. That's accepting that I didn't do all I could do and being okay with that. Why in all hell would anyone ever be happy with not doing all they knew they could do? It makes me angry at those that say that, because I'm angry at myself. I'm so angry that I let myself down, and I'm angry that sometimes I want to believe that "it's okay". I have nothing more to say.