I've come too far to turn back now...

I've fallen off of the wagon when I feel like a taste of the "good life" (where everything makes sense and the weight is falling off) is just around the corner. I've been stuck for the past two months, and have even gained a little. The weight is happy where it is, and I haven't lost any inches (self measured, not official).

I still have nine days left until my last and official weigh in and I'm a bit disheartened. I know sometimes we just hit plateaus and there isn't anything much to be done about it without paying for a professional trainer. I know where I'm failing in my diet, and I see clearly what more I could be doing as far as exercise goes. Sometimes it's so easy to fall into an old rut and hop right back into those damaging old habits.

Did I need that handful of cookies? No. But believe me, they were delicious. Tonight I ate a fried egg sandwich on bread with a Laughing Cow light cheese wedge. I don't normally eat gluten and I don't normally eat egg, and I don't normally eat cheese. Why is my body craving all the things I don't normally eat all of a sudden? I am starting to feel bored and starting to feel denied. My body is screaming for processed food, and processed sugar. I'm detoxing hard, and then giving in before I finally kick the processed crap out of my system and get over the need for fast/easy calories.

I'm still feeling good in my skin, and comfortable in my body. I'm still feeling happy with myself, although I clearly see how much further I have yet to go. My scale at home weighs heavy, but it has me at 225 in the mornings. That would be a three pound increase since last weigh in - what could have caused this? I know my hormones have been outrageously out of control lately and I'm not sure the cause of that either. Adult acne breakouts, hormonal related emotional issues and a general feeling of tiredness and being run down. My stomach has started rebelling when I eat too much and sometimes "too much" is a perfectly average (if not small) sized meal.

I know what I'm doing wrong, and I know how to get back on track, but I'm still burning calories enough to create a deficit and I'm still eating 75% "on diet". A few cookies and a fried egg sandwich shouldn't cause such a strange fluctuation! This must be one of those weight loss mysteries that has something to do with a rebellious body trying to maintain a current weight rather than pushing forward like I want it to.

I won't stop here. 225 in the morning, and 227 at night is not acceptable to me. Not after having lost 108lbs as of last weigh in. I worry sometimes I might have gone too hard, too fast, and without medical tests to monitor my health as I make the changes. Could this be some kind of hormonal backlash to losing a petite adult woman? I've come too far to turn back now, either way...

Action Oriented Goal: (May 31- June 7) Exercise at least 20min/day elliptical, at least 4x arm exercises and 3x sit up.
Passive Oriented Goal: (June 1-June 8) Eat to Live 100%, no eating out.
End goal: (May 31-June 8) Get a successful weigh in at Curves of any number under 220lbs, maximum 219.9lbs.