Starward Dreamer - Daily Affirmations

There was once a little girl, fat and afraid. She dreamed about making friends. She dreamed about running and playing without being judged for inability. She even dared to dream that she might eat without scathing glances from a public audience.

Eyes were everywhere, always. She couldn't jump the large pond as all the other children did. Instead she landed with an ungracious splat right in the middle of it. The butt of every joke, drawn to gross proportions in art class, and unhappy.

My life sucked. Bullies suck. Those that truly loved me were few and far between, but I am forever grateful to them. Those that have stood beside me during every step of my own self discovery will go down in the history of my life as something completely amazing.

I type this entry with fingers half the thickness they used to be. I sit cross-legged in a chair in a manner I never could before. I have dreams for the future. I don't need anyone to hold my hand on this journey anymore. I don't need someone telling me what to do, or how to live, or what has to happen for me to be happy.

I have self-actualized my life. I am empowered. I will never stop.

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Catch Me If You Can...

April 14, 2012: 5 Mile Walk for MS (Free, untimed event in support of multiple sclerosis)

April 28, 2012: 10k Walk for Fitness (Free, untimed event in memory of a fallen firefighter) Woodbridge

May 6, 2012: May Day 5K (Timed event, entry fee $20) Lake Ridge

May 19, 2012: Falcon 5k (Timed event, entry fee $20) Woodbridge

Medifast: 4 Weeks In

I've been having some success with Medifast, and then no success with it. This past week I only lost half a pound..but that is still something to be celebrated. I think when I started this journey I had so many intentions to completely transform who I was without help.

I realize now that that would have been impossible. I did it all through hard effort and sheer determination, but it's impossible to do anything so monumental without support. People encouraging me on Facebook and sending me awesome messages about how inspirational they feel I am, and all that have really helped keep me focused on continuing to perform.

That kind of support and help is something I'd like to pass on to others so Robert and I have been talking about me getting a degree in Hollistic health as a nutritionist. I think I could be awesome at this and am excited about the opportunity. There are some fine details to hash out but, in the end, this will probably be an awesome thing for our family!

A Magical March Weigh-In

 It's been hard to keep up with where I am lately. I don't feel like posting all the time like I was before when I was in charge of what I was doing. When I was doing an iso-caloric approach to eating I was taking every little thing I ate into consideration and really invested in my diet and exercise routine. Now that I'm doing Medifast I feel a little distant, almost like I've traded active investment for passive investment. I'm obviously invested enough to eat the products and write in the journal...but am I invested  enough to feel like this is me making these successes happen, rather than these successes happening because someone else did all the brain-work to make sure my body would respond in a particular way.

I'm giving it a few more weeks. I want to see how I feel after all is said and done during that time. I might take a break from the program and go back to eating real, fresh, true foods and see if that can help me out at all.

Success is success: Truth. Success by any means necessary is still success: Not Truth.

Eggs out
xx