Feeling defeated - I need to eat MORE?

I've been looking at everything wrong, lately. It's so hard sometimes to get the fact that scale results do NOT equal success. I've been feeling so run down and bad lately, topped with the fact my weight is wavering between 236.5 and 239.5 for the past 6 weeks I've been feeling so defeated.

http://www.bmrcalculator.org/

I learned that, according to a BMR calculating website, that I burn 1774 calories simply 'existing'. I gave my diet a relatively thorough once-over to figure out where I land with my calories and I normally hit what I thought was a rather sensible 1200(ish) calories per day. I often run a little bit low, but 1200 is normally the magic number when I eat whatever I want, however I want, as often as I want.

It seems the plateau might actually be caused by me not eating enough - what a fun adventure THIS will be. I can see I'm not eating enough fat, nor am I eating anywhere near enough protein. I take a multivitamin and have gotten slightly better in my hydration department, but It's so overwhelming figuring out what to eat to get my healthy fats and protein up. Nut butter is the obvious choice, but I'm honestly not all that keen on it...and the last thing I want to do is start measuring food, adding calories and keeping a food journal. That's just the kind of thing that puts me OFF wanting to lose weight and stick with it!

www.freedieting.com/tools/calorie_calculator.htm

So what is a girl to do? I'm not seeing any inches lost, I'm not seeing an pounds lost, so obviously something has to give. I need to figure out a change of pace and a different tactic to come at this issue with head on. There's only so long I can keep going like this before my body, which is apparently being starved, decides that enough is enough and puts me out of commission. I did a "how many calories should I be eating?" calculator online and have found that it suggests I zig-zag cycle around 1900 calories PER DAY. Oh my goodness. I'd need to eat ALL day long! Any suggestions on high calorie, healthy fat foods that pack a healthy punch? I have to try something before I give up.

Another thing I've noticed, which I wanted to blog a bit about, was the fact that whenever I am typing my weight out I always start in the 300's. 338 is something I typed several times just earlier. I have gotten so used to a certain way of looking at myself, so uncomfortably comfortable in a certain role that I automatically place myself there. I wonder how long until that changes...

All for today,

Eggs out.

Walking up a (small) storm!

Hubby&I in March '05. At approximately 265lbs.

I've been working as best as I can on increasing distance and endurance so that when the time is right I'll be able to get a really good jogging (and then running!) routine. I read somewhere online that the best way to train for running as a complete running n00b is to begin the process with walking, and aiming for distance rather than speed to help your muscles get all kinds of strong and long-lasting to help you power through the runs later on.
I've begun introducing a steady jog into my routine, where for no reason I'll break into a jog at least three times to help get my heart rate up and test out my running legs.
 

Elly&I in March '04. At approximately 245lbs.

My legs are getting stronger, I'm getting stronger and I can carry myself further. Walking is great fun! Below is my chart of record for the week, showing that I've walked 19.3M this week, versus having only walked 9.5M last week. Things are picking up...I really hope to bust out of this plateau, and soon! Got a 236.5 lbs on the scale this morning that means I'm down a little bit, even if it isn't as much as I'd usually like to see I guess I can accept it.

Week 2 M-F
Mar 14 - 3.7
Mar 15 - 2.5
Mar 16 - 4.5
Mar 17 - 2.4
Mar 18 - 2.4
Mar 19 - 3.8

Total Miles (Mon-Sat): 19.3
Approximate Calories Burned: 2509

Weight: 236.5lbs

Eggs out.

Monthly Weigh-in!

So tonight I went to Curves and did my monthly weigh in. Considering the facts of life as they are right now (Hormones, stress, post-cruise, etc) I'm actually quite happy with my achievements this month! It's no ten pounds, but it's something and it is something in the positive direction. A bit concerned about the fact my body fat percentage has gone up. I need to do some serious reading and figure out exactly what a "Body fat percentage" and how that relates to my overall health. My husband and I were discussing this in the car today and trying to relate the body fat percentage to weight loss and both getting confused, so clearly the idea here is to do some independent research. Since I started at Curves in June 2010 I've lost 5.7% body fat percentage, and as far as weight loss is concerned I've lost 22.5% of myself! That's just looking back as far as Curves. Since I started losing weight since my highest recorded weight (331 pounds) I've lost 28.2% of myself! I don't even really know how to put into words my feelings in regards to that kind of accomplishment. Yeesh..overwhelming at times. I'm also creeping closer and closer to my 100 pounds lost party. I need to start planning it because sometime this month I have a feeling that I'll hit 100 pounds lost and then be stuck twiddling my thumbs in regards to how I'll celebrate.

In other news, however, I've also added another tracking system to my health regimen. I'm going to record and update my miles walked per day, and keep a ticker I'll update once weekly to reach my goal of having walked 500 miles! I wonder how long at my regular pace of 2(ish) miles per week day will take me to hit 500. I guess I'll have to walk every day. I never realized how truly amazing walking was for your health. Just simple, straight-up walking. I plug my mp3 player into my ears, pack the baby up into the stroller, and go out for a walk on a route I measured using Google Maps so it's a reliable measurement of the distance I've traveled. I've started walking Monday - Friday (weather permitting) so let's see where this goes! :)

I guess that's all the update I have for you now - Stay healthy.

Eggs out.

Wacky, Wild and Wonderful!

Happy couple on our happy day!

These past weeks were somewhat of a whirlwind, and full of delectable treats to tantalize my taste buds. Cliche after cliche right there, huh? YOU BETCHA. The entire whirlwind started with preparations for our renewal of the vows ceremony to commemorate 5 years of wedded happiness. It has certainly had its ups and its downs, but ultimately I think the entire marriage thing to be a positive experience that has left me emotionally richer for having been in it.

Nassau, Bahamas

The whirlwind began, as whirlwinds always do, with preparing for the arrival of out-of-country family. My mother, to be exact, and her new boyfriend in tow. After, and before, that there was shopping and preparing to do for an entire Renewal of the Vows ceremony that we did all of the food and decoration creating for ourselves.  Busy, busy busy! After that (as in, the day immediately after that) we went on a one week vacation to the Bahamas and basked in the sunshine and warm waters. I went swimming in February. What a lark!

Mahi Mahi with olive oil, carrot, red potatoes and broccoli

The entire cruise centered around food. The eating, digesting, and eating of more food.We dined as often, and as free, in a gourmet dining room.  We dined as often as we wished morning, noon and night at the buffet, pizzeria and more. I gained a lot of weight (approximately 4 pounds - sticking me right back around 244 pounds) due to my overindulgence - Even though I only ate fruit and veg most of the time, it's amazing what a severe shock to your dietary system can do. I don't quite know what to say about it, because that is essentially one month's worth of hard work down the drain. We had fun though, and had an adventure. It was lovely, and I'm right back on track now. Back to the Eat to Live detox stage, getting rid of the salt and processed carbs I overate of during the cruise, and out walking and getting real exercise rather than the easy peasy strolls we were taking around the ship and the Bahamas.  Today I had a 1.6M walk, and yesterday a 2.4M walk. BACK. ON. TRACK :)

Eggs out.