Happy Birthday To Me.

Beautiful Hello - Blog Entry"I'm still reeling from the fact I'm only 14.2 pounds away (currently 214.2lbs) from being in the 100's. If I lose 6.6lbs per month, for the rest of the months until November I'll hit my 180 goal at the same time as my birthday. I'm really thinking that this is a healthy and reasonable goal to set for myself, and so? NEW GOAL: 180lbs by my 27th birthday." - June 8, 2011

Picture Dated: 11/22/2011. Wahey!

Dear blogging world: I made it! I was worried because there was a point a week ago where I was 5.4 pounds away from my goal. On top of packing on muscle (you should see my calves and quads!) I've been struggling with an on-going two week long plateau. My body decided it didn't like working out (or it did, but got stubborn anyway) and then when I kept going it finally relented. "Fine," said my body, "If we MUST."

I have to say, I am loving my new muscles. The more muscle I have the higher my BMR is. That essentially translates to "Do nothing, burn more! YAY!" I know that's probably not the intended purpose of building muscle, but it's a wonderful added perk. Anything to enable further laziness, right?

Today is also fantastic because it marks the day I've officially lost 150 pounds, overall. I think the enormity of what I've accomplished so far hasn't hit me. I doubt it ever will hit me. I get glimpses of my feats when I look at old pictures of myself, but nothing has ever truly smack me in the face and made me realize precisely what I've done...I know whatever it is, it's great though because I feel so much better.

I guess this is all for today! Special lunch at home with my wonderful husband (whom has also started up working out with me at the gym. It's great having a work out buddy that is also my S.O. I love seeing him investing in his own health and well-being.)

Eggs out
xx

November Official Weigh-In - Strange Numbers

I've been trying this 'new'-ish concept for the past two weeks: I've been keeping a record of my BMR, calculating calories and figuring out daily deficiencies. I must say - I hate it. It's no wonder so many calorie counting dieters eventually just give up and go back to old habits. Any way of eating that requires this much thought and effort is just mentally exhausting. Always needing a piece of paper nearby lest one forget to jot down the three skittles they snarfed from their two year old. It's a little extreme...in my opinion.

I'm going to finish it off for the month, but a week out from my birthday I'm going to get back on E2L detox and hit that hard in conjunction with the gym. I'm confused by this month's weigh-in...I thought since my weight wasn't dropping drastically that I'd have at least lost a ton of inches..but that didn't happen either. Not only did I barely lose any inches, I barely lost any weight - and that's with physical training three times a week and at least an hour of cardio per night, six times a week. Really, body? You hate exercise that much? I call conspiracy on this one. :)

Can't wait to see where I end up on November 22. 180.X is still my goal, which means I have 4 more pounds to lose. Totally do-able if I can lose 2 pounds per week. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed now though, so close to my deadline. Unfortunately this isn't something I'm willing to bend on, and so...it must be done, one way or the other.

I'm a trooper. I don't give up. I don't let myself down. I will succeed.

Eggs out.

xx

We'll Go Dreamin'

Less flub, more muscle :D

I remember so many thoughts I had when I started my journey. At first, I honestly didn't think anything would come of it. I lost a bit of weight, 30 pounds - big whoop when you have 200 overall to get rid of. I remember thinking, resignedly, that I'd probably do it for a few months and then give up. This makes me realize in the power of dreams...they're only just dreams until we make them come true for ourelves. I stopped waiting on someone else to put in the hard work and effort for me. I stopped waiting for a miracle drug, diet or surgery. I stopped being okay with letting a drug, diet or surgery do that hard work for me. I accepted responsibility for my actions - it was one of the most grown-up things I've ever done.

Post Work-Out

It hasn't been easy - always requesting special food for family events, gatherings and at restaraunts. Taking time away from home and family to work out and strengthen myself. To realize I'm worth taking time for. It's all been worth it though, because I'm in a better place now than I have ever been since sixth grade. My birthday is only two weeks and two days away and looking back fifteen years has been hard for me. All the missed opportunities, all of the missed dreams, all of the depression and all of the sadness. I don't miss it at all.

Thinking I might take a break from the gym tonight. I've had two weeks of solid exercise training and activity every single day. Time for a bit of R&R and back on the saddle first thing tomorrow! Training with Nana has been great and I'm passing on all that I learn with Nana to my husband. We trained hard for an hour last night and I got a really good sweat up just showing hubby how to do all that I've been doing. I love it. Zombie 5k was the started of our activity together...I just hope it isn't the end :)

Eggs out
xx

I've been struggling with a lot of guilt lately. After getting up early, heading to work (while sick) and coming home after a long day of dealing with other people's problems my husband grabs the kids from my Sister-in-law's house (she babysits), comes home, feeds the kids, does homework/reading with them, bathes them and puts them to bed.
For the first half of the night I'm at work, which is productive. For the second half? I'm spending five times more than I earn (just my income) getting P.T at the gym and pushing myself to the most extreme of my limits. I have so much guilt about taking time away from the family but this is something that I *must* do. Not only must I do it, but it makes me happy. Carving time away from my children, my house, my husband is a dual edged sword and that dual edged sword is full of guilt, sadness, happiness and accomplishment. I know all good things worth having come at a cost.

Robert assures me it's okay I'm doing what I must do. That it's okay I am carving out an hour or two a day for me. It's just such a foreign idea. Being invested in myself, knowing I'm worth enough to take time away from family to improve upon myself. It's just...bah. Must get used to this idea. I'm making positive changes in myself. These are all very good things. Time to breathe deep and just accept it's okay to take time for me. Erk.

The other half of this entry is my weight loss goal in three weeks. I have no idea what to do about that. 180 might be over-reaching. Not because I couldn't make the goal, but because I'm packing on so much muscle and packing in so much protein (to keep feeding those muscles). I might simply just have to be happy with being smaller looking and healthier on my birthday, rather than being a specific goal weight. I still have in the back of the mind that I might be able to hit 180 by my birthday. If I keep up with the healthy foods and making sure my calories:exercise ratio don't get so dangerously close as they have been I might just make it. I need to think out a goal for my birthday, something I'm happy with. Maybe after my official weigh in next Tuesday I can set an inches-going or something of that ilk. My inches are going down, but my weight is being stubborn.

I took a before PT picture (that I posed a few entries ago) that I can't wait to compare to a post-PT workout. I really wanted to get measurements but I can't find my tape! I'll need to go to a store and grab another one. My butt is looking really good from all that stair-stepping :D

We'll just see how this goes!

Eggs out.
xx