Sweet Cheesus - Hello 100's. Long Time, No See.

I keep starting my blog entry and then deleting it. I keep failing at saying exactly what I'd like to say, I get frustrated with what I've written so far and then I delete it all. So I've decided that for better, or worse, I shall post this entry! After speaking with my husband I decided that rather than focus on my weightloss for right now (I hit 199.6 this morning) I'll focus on the changes I've noticed within myself, or have had others notice within me. I find the 199.6 to be a little overwhelming so I'll focus on the things that are less overwhelming!

Positive Changes

1. Desire to keep my house and personal spaces clean and organized
2. Self-confidence in social settings, lessened social anxiety
3. Eating healthy, exercise on a regular basis (huge difference)
4. More determined to reach goals, set goals and follow through with goals
5. Have become more affectionate
6. Emotions have been substantially more even-keeled, stable
7. Stronger emotionally, able to handle more while maintaining empathy.
8. Less emotional internalization
9. Sticking to decisions and choices, because am putting more thought/effort in initially
10. Owning my choices and decisions, and their consequences
11. Following more natural/organic/homeopathic/healthy choices in food/exercise/healthcare
12. Unwilling to escalate arguments. Will put point 'out' and then leave well enough alone.
13. Used to feel 'unworthy' of presents, rewards, and incentives. Now I feel I've earned it.
14. More willing to get out and see the world - Walking, hiking, for miles no longer put me off
15. I now fit in the bath tub
16. I can wear clothes from standard-size shops
17. Shoe width has shrunk
18. Don't think people are always talking poorly of me when I get a glance my way
19. Excited to get a new gym membership
20. As excited about my new bathroom scale and all it's features as some people are about new video game systems/toys
21. Willing to wear swimsuit without cover up/illing to wear dresses/tops without arm covering
22. More interested in my own sense of fashion and how I present to the world, wardrobe includes more colours than black and high-heels!
23. Will wear shorter skirts, tighter clothing, less ashamed of my figure
24. Finally got the body mods done that I've been wanting for ages
25. No longer ashamed to be seen eating in front of others
26. Willing to be in pictures (huge!)
27. More willing to explore different aspects of my sexuality
28. I have bones! My collar bones have made a reappearance and several fat rolls have flown the coop
29. I can eat certain 'naughty' foods without guilt, knowing that I've eaten like a champ overall
30. I have proven myself, my worth, and my dedication to the most important person I can - ME.

At 199.6lbs I have a rather long list of positive things I can attribue to losing weight. Whether through the actual act of getting smaller, or from the mental changes that come when taking hold of life's horns and taking control BACK into my own hands. It has been an amazing journey so far. 64.6 lbs left to lose before goal weight, from the original 196 lbs! That means I've lost 131.4lbs overall. Whoa.

Time to go do some serious introspection on that!

Eggs out
xx