FIGURING THINGS OUTI made a few goals in my last blog post that I haven't been able to meet because my trip to Canada got moved up by almost a month. I was exceedingly worried coming here, especially with my decision-making skills being so compromised. Stress eating started to take over, and even though I was stress eating the heck out of fruit and veggies I knew it'd only be a matter of time until I turned to stress eating the foods that gave a bigger emotional payoff.
Stress is something that always has done me in in the past. Being hit with toxic elements in my life (decisions, choices, health impacts), and the lack of ability to know how to remove it (or lack of willingness) had started me on a downward spiral. I wonder how much of that was mental because it is strange how coincidental the stress/Canada happened. Was I looking for a reason? An excuse to do poorly? I saw some pictures of myself and realized I'm
so close. I weighed in at 208.0 this morning with two days until my official weigh in. I expect to see some gained inches from lack of running/weight equipment (and two hindrances to working out) but am hoping it is nothing too serious.
I know I've worked hard. Very hard. I know I need to keep going. I've lost a total of 123.0 pounds, and only have another 73 pounds to go. In the scheme of things that is nothing if I can get myself back to where I need to be. I've gone out every single day with the children for walks, swimming, exploring the city or farms or museums. Lots of fresh air, sunshine (with sunscreen and a hat - go me!) and have been recently making the best decisions available to me rather than the easiest decisions that were also the tastiest. Fish and chips, chips, chocolate bars, poutine, pizza, fries. No bueno!
Back on track. Keep going, Self. Keep going. Can't stop this close to the end game, it'd be such a shame on my name to have started such a great adventure and pooped out only halfway there. On Facebook I made the following post: "Has ideas and goals for things she wants to accomplish. First up is a weight goal, an emotional goal, a spiritual goal and a creative goal. Now to figure out exactly what they are! ^^", so let's discuss those goals here!
1. Weight Goal (short-term): I want to be 208.0 at most on 7/8/2011. I can't predict how my exercise will have affect my taping so I don't have any goals there. I'll just play it by ear and see where I am rather than setting up anything too unrealistic. For 8/8/2011's official weigh in I'd like to be 199 pounds - or if failing that, at least have seen 199.0 on the scale, even if I can't get that on the scale for weigh in day.
2. Emotional Goal: Believe I'm worth it. Do something with other people as a reward for my hard work rather than constantly berating myself for 'what more' I could have, or should have, done. Believe in me. I'm currently planning a Girl's Day Out with some friends for a manicure and a meal, so I think that would fit the bill nicely.
3. Spiritual Goal: By this time next month I'd like to pick one thing that would fulfill me spiritually. One action, one choice, one decision. Joining a group for fellowship, engaging in a formal class, getting Reiki 1 certified? I need to really think this out and think my loving husband might be able to help me on this one. I want to get a tattoo of ॐ (OM/AUM) on my inner wrist. I'm iffy on whether I want the left or the right, but I'm sure that will be a last minute decision. I'm leaning toward left. I want something to be able to look at forever and have that as a symbol of centering and peace.
4. Creative Goal: Paint something. Even if it's a stint to the Clay Cafe to paint a mug. I want to put my hand into the creation of something that I can be proud of. I tried before leaving for Canada by picking up my old charcoal but I'm so heinously out of practice it looked kind of ...not good. but it was fun to do and very good for my headspace :)
Well..I guess that's all for now, at least for two days until official weigh-in day! Eep! ...hopefully my efforts will have paid off :)
FIGURING THINGS OUT
Stress is something that always has done me in in the past. Being hit with toxic elements in my life (decisions, choices, health impacts), and the lack of ability to know how to remove it (or lack of willingness) had started me on a downward spiral. I wonder how much of that was mental because it is strange how coincidental the stress/Canada happened. Was I looking for a reason? An excuse to do poorly? I saw some pictures of myself and realized I'm so close. I weighed in at 208.0 this morning with two days until my official weigh in. I expect to see some gained inches from lack of running/weight equipment (and two hindrances to working out) but am hoping it is nothing too serious. 
I know I've worked hard. Very hard. I know I need to keep going. I've lost a total of 123.0 pounds, and only have another 73 pounds to go. In the scheme of things that is nothing if I can get myself back to where I need to be. I've gone out every single day with the children for walks, swimming, exploring the city or farms or museums. Lots of fresh air, sunshine (with sunscreen and a hat - go me!) and have been recently making the best decisions available to me rather than the easiest decisions that were also the tastiest. Fish and chips, chips, chocolate bars, poutine, pizza, fries. No bueno!
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